(some spoilers – beware)

First, I definitely recommend you watch this movie at home. Why lose the big screen, you ask? So that you can fast-forward at least five or eight times. The story is that bad. It’s simplistic, it’s overly Manichean, it has too much filler… Way too much sausage filling, just FF until you finally come to a new moment where something is happening in the story.

The photography at times is enormously beautiful. So definitely a point for that. The CGI effects (galore!) are all well done, but guess what? Who wants to see Godzilla crossed with Snow White, a fairy tale? The result is ridiculous. You know, these movie studios need to realize that we have all gotten how clever and wild they can be playing with computers. But it’s still like watching Godzilla or King Kong, little models of monsters, in a context where they hardly belong. Sigh. I almost expected to see 3D dinosaurs leaping out of the Evil Forest at some point, you know, one of the CGI animation directors got so carried away that he thinks, hey, I’m good at this, have you seen my dinosaurs?

Thank you, we have. And these little monsters are not that cool unless you are a teenager, I suppose. So what’s left in the movie is just a series of not-that-interesting chases, the “evil guys” pursuing the “good guys and, especially gal,” and always launching some quite predictable “surprise” attack whenever the latter get to a new place.

A point goes to the screenwriter for actually thinking up of a reason why the Queen became evil. My favorite scenes were when Snow White jumps into action, in Jason Bourne fashion (not that the stories of their characters match). “Snow White action adventure” provided me with  pleasure on many levels. Also the change in the original story that here it’s the “huntsman” and not the “prince” who gets the girl. But the huntsman doesn’t really get her either. So that was interesting. I guess the fact that all the good guys fighting the good fight arrive at the end of the movie alive and well and winners makes this a film for teenagers.

Charlize does a good job being the most nasty, perverse EVIL. Kristen Stewart does a good job any time action is required, but she has little charisma otherwise. And she isn’t strikingly beautiful, nor very graceful. But given, as I said, this is Godzilla Snow White Action Adventure, that’s all right.

The worse of the film, and it is seriously repugnant, is how unnecessarily brutal and gory it gets in several moments. I hate directors who want to shove raw, sadistic cruelty as entertainment. It isn’t. For this reason alone, no one should pay to watch this movie.

In summary, with the remote control in your hand, try this movie. There is a wide mix of elements, both good and bad about it. And the FF button is just a press away.

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