My wife told the story about how a minister in her Dallas church circles, Greg Goben, turned out to be a serial rapist. At his trial, he said that he had started watching porn with the football team at college, became addicted to it, and acted out his porn fantasies via rape. He testified that he would watch porn before going out preying on women. He was not a creepy old guy; he was a young man with a wife and two kids.

Rod Dreher recently wrote about how much porn was damaging this generation of teenagers.

I engaged in a brief exchange with another commenter, who, in part, wrote:

these kids who are “learning” from porn are  “learning” to abuse and degrade others. they are “learning” that random, emotionless “hook-ups” are age-appropriate. they are “learning” interact with each other devoid of any intimacy or humanity. it’s almost sociopathic.

Here is an excerpt of the exchange. See the TAC site for the full thread.

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Heather says:

“sex has become dehumanized to the point where it almost has nothing to do with hormones or a normal teenage sexual desire/curiosity.”

Next episode: a few years pass and these teenage morons will say: but everybody does it, so it’s normal; if it’s normal, then it’s good; and I’ve always felt this kind of desire since I was 11 or 12, so I must have been born this way. I am not in any way accountable to any desire dynamics that pops up in my mind, and any “conversion” therapy to resolve these dynamics is against my human rights. Oh, and if you don’t like my sexuality, you’re a racist.

 

I was thinking of these teenage boys who are learning to think and feel about sex in abusive or dehumanizing way. For some of these young men, that’s the only way they have experienced sex. Their psychological dynamics are going through a process of being deformed in this way. But that doesn’t change the fact that  it seems utterly natural to them from the earliest age. That’s all they have ever known. Therefore, it should feel to them like they were born this way. How else do you feel about an experience that you have no alternative to? And which you can find other people who claim to have it as well – giving you a sense that it’s not only you, so it’s fine. But that doesn’t change the fact that they weren’t born that way. If you would ask them, some might very well say, ” this is who I am.” Just like the homosexuality agenda discourse.

Moreover, they are being told, by many people at least, that there is nothing wrong with any of porn, that they are perfectly normal, and that they have nothing to be responsible for. What level of self-awareness can we expect from a good number of these young men? Zero. And if you think that an increasing number of  young women don’t endorse porn, you are mistaken. I’m not saying the problem is of equal extent or depth across the sexes, but it’s certainly not exclusive to young men.
Then, if you would suggest to these young men that there is something wrong with their perverted sexuality, and that they need to “convert” to a wholesome sexuality, they would think you are obnoxiously repressive or clueless, infringing on their sexual freedom and what feels like their born-that-way sexuality which, to them, is so normal. If you don’t accept porn or think it’s normal, it’s you who has a problem. Just like the homosexual agenda discourse.

people who are consuming porn are “learning” many things, depending on what they watch. They are learning to be homosexual or at least bisexual, or pedophilic, or to enjoy scatological debasements and other gross ways to deform sexuality. It depends on what kind of porn they watch and how their psychology interacts with it. The basic message of porn is that every single sexual desire that someone can have in their minds, no matter how dysfunctional and disoriented, is normal. That can have a very powerful effect on people who, in addition to other factors, are prone to have dysfunctional sexualities.

So the subject of what they are learning from porn is a lot more broad then.

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Joe the Plutocrat says:

@Heather. not sure I undertstand your comment. I am not suggesting that viewing pornography at an early age can lead a heterosexual to become a homosexual, or vice versa. as I see it, a major part of the teenage experience – regardless of a person’s desires – is the ability to excercise self-control/personal responsibility, develop self-respect, and demonstrate respect for one’s sexual/romantic partner. these kids who are “learning” from porn are not “learning” to be heterosexual or homosexual. they are “learning” to abuse and degrade others. they are “learning” that random, emotionless “hook-ups” are age-appropriate. they are “learning” interact with each other devoid of any intimacy or humanity. it’s almost sociopathic. it has nothing to do with racism, homo/heterophobia, or “rights”.

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Heather says:

Joe the Plutocrat says: @Heather. sexual behavior has nothing to do with race. I suppose a person could be called a racist,

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You missed the reference. People who question the normalization of homosexuality are being equated to racists by liberals all over the place, including on this very blog.

Joe the Plutocrat says: “my observations are rooted in the data I have seen and the evidence I have seen where heterosexual male teenagers have developed what I find to be “porn-shaped” view of interaction with females.”

And I was talking about the fact that just as one of these male teenagers can have his psychology deformed in regard to females, so can any other teenager, including women, have theirs. There is a lot of evidence on how culture deforms a person’s mind in so many ways.

If having degrading views of sex and relationships in adolescence is a big problem, it is even more so in adulthood. Thus, what consenting adults do in private create huge problems in society. Because of this, sexuality is everybody’s problem, in fact.

However, it appears that you believe adults don’t have problems regarding attitudes to sex and relationships or can’t have their psychologies deformed because of culture! To say that simply because a person reaches his 21st birthday, they become good, healthy, mature, and ethical for life, in every sphere, including sexuality is just utter nonsense. To think that the minds of adults can’t be deformed or to have existing perversities augmented is utter nonsense. That’s not the world. That’s the exact opposite of many adults.

The very same effects you describe in these teens can be seen in many adults. So it’s quite a contradiction just to be concerned with teenagers. And it’s also odd that you don’t criticize the fact that many young people who are developing a homosexuality problem are also acquiring a porn-view of sexuality. Same problem as with heterosexuals, and which extends to adults with a homosexual problem.

If a teen degrades another teen, there is no reason in the world why an adult degrading another adult is not a problem. All in all, it seems that you believe that no one should be concerned with degradation of human beings, unless perhaps if it affects your daughter?

I’m glad she has few choices for a boyfriend.