***82′,’1′,’2010-09-02 19:01:12′,’2010-09-02 19:01:12′,’

In response to a comment at VC, by Travers, giving his views on why people may see homosexuality as a problem, I sketched some thoughts about why so many people have normalized homosexuality and do not see any problems with it. Here it is, using very informal language.

Chris Travers: Whether or not people see homosexuality as a problem depends on a lot of factors. It comes down to a value judgement. My own thinking is that a lot (though probably not all) of it is fear of sexuality in general and that “homophobia” is the wrong way to look at it. …

(his comment at VC is longer)

I’m not sure how you were employing “fear” here, but I disagree. People who understand homosexuality is a problem are not in denial about the fact that it is disoriented. It is not a question of fear. People who have a need to normalize homosexuality tend to have a sexuality ideology that understands sexuality (including homosexuality) in very ignorant ways, including very stereotypical concepts. One of these stereotypical memes that has been repeated ad nauseum for a couple of decades now is the “homosexuals just want to love each other.”

I think that is the most common stereotype I see in the minds of people who normalize homosexuality. People with a homosexual problem are portrayed as being all the same, not having a psycho-sexual problem, and the sexualization of another person (of the same sex) gets transformed into an action of “love.” This is a grotesque deformation, because sexual desire does not and has never equaled love. Thus, I also see people who have a need to normalize homosexuality as having an extreme need to romanticize sexual desire itself and to romanticize homosexuals.

This is in light of the fact that people who normalize homosexuality most often use a defining concept of sexual orientation to mean sexual attraction.

Obviously, it is clear by this stereotype that another key problem that has been completely hidden by this meme is any issue concerning unethical or harmful sexuality attitudes and behaviors that are produced in the minds of a great number of homosexuals. Given that someone with a homosexual problem may sexualize another person due to having a complex set of harmful or unresolved psycho-sexual problems, which may also produce egregious or violent behavior towards others, there is as much truth in saying that “homosexuals just want to love each other,” as there is in saying “homosexuals just want to harass and batter others.” Yet, for people who normalize homosexuality, it’s the first stereotype that must be repeatedly enforced. As I have mentioned, this is not a singular idea within the constellation of ideas of people who normalize homosexuality. It accompanies a much larger general attitude to always lying by omission or trivializing harmful or violent attitudes and behaviors related to sexuality and personal relationships in society, especially in popular discourse.

One key profile of people who normalize homosexuality are people who are quite ignorant about such problems, their life experience is one of extreme privilege, and they personally never or hardly ever see or have much personal contact with such issues. So these issues basically do not figure on their emotional radar screen, and have absolutely no emotional salience to them.

At the same time that they have this insensitive, and in-denial profile, the idea that someone would be prevented from getting their sexual kicks strikes as them as horribly repressive, not only concerning homosexuality but most other things as well (with basically children being the only thing off-limits). Given that a lot of people who normalize homosexuality are heterosexual and they must get their sexuality kicks, no matter how harmful or irresponsible or dysfunctional these kicks are, there is an identification with the idea that if this stereotypical homosexual is not being allowed to get their kicks, this is the same terrible imposition.

Obviously, an obligatory accompanying idea to this one is that anyone who does not normalize homosexuality must be a bad person out to repress “love.” So we see people who normalize homosexuality doing all this hand wringing and having crisis after crisis of tumultuous emotional expressions of how unjust and evil it is not to accept and glorify homosexuality. They must go on a sexuality crusade to right this horrible wrong. This is what I call the Don Quixote attitude to normalizing homosexuality.

The other interesting characteristic of most people who normalize homosexuality is their own attitude to their views on human sexuality. Most of them see themselves as great authorities on sexuality, no matter how ignorant they are on the subject or any related subject that intersects the realm of sexuality (psychology, anthropology, sociology, biology, political science, history). We don’t see this same kind of arrogant attitude concerning a variety of other subjects (such as astrophysics, for example). It’s rare to see a person who is quite ignorant on physics to claim they are experts, but when it comes to sexuality, everyone is an expert. I would say this is probably due to the profound emotional salience of the topic of sexuality and that fact that, somehow or another, sexuality is always part of an individual’s life experience.

Another harmful consequence of this stereotype (“homosexuals just want to love each other”) is that it conveys the idea that people with a homosexual psychology only interact with other homosexuals, thus the “love each other.” People who normalize homosexuality hate acknowledging that homosexuals also harass and abuse heterosexuals (of all ages).

For most people who normalize homosexuality, there is a desperate need to equate homosexuality to heterosexuality and to repeatedly state that homosexuals are exactly the same as heterosexuals, whether we are talking about problems with sexual behavior, relationships, violence, etc. Every study that shows difference and every testimony that presents a difference must be attacked and brushed away from consciousness and cannot be acknowledged.

Another common characteristic of people who normalize homosexuality is that they are often quite comfortable with various mass problems involving sexuality or relationships in society (promiscuity, abortion, adultery, rape, sexual harassment, domestic violence, sexual child abuse, etc). Sure, many do the lip service speech against it, but we can see that overall they are never really bothered, nor outraged about these problems, nor do they do anything about it, concretely speaking, from a political or professional perspective. It’s what I call a Marie-Antoinettish attitude to sexuality.

Overall, most people I have seen who normalize homosexuality have this curious mix of Marie Antoinettish and Don Quixotish sexuality views.

As an example of differences between homo-, bi-, and heterosexuals, there is an interesting new study out on intimate partner violence– did you see this one, Travers?


Nearly 1 in 6 adults in California, about 3.7 million persons, report experiencing physical intimate partner violence (IPV) as adults.

Based on the CHIS 2007 IPV module, women (21.1%) are twice as likely to be victims of physical violence as men (11%), and eight times (8%) as likely to report being the victim of sexual violence compared to men (1%).

Bisexual (40.6%), gay, lesbian or homosexual adults (27.9%) are almost twice as likely to experience IPV as heterosexual adults (16.7%).

CHIS 2007 completed interviews with 51,048 adults. For the adult survey, an adult was randomly selected from every household. For this policy brief, we analyzed data from 37,330 adults ages 18–65 years.

I thought it was interesting to see that the rates for male victims was half as much as for women, that’s a lot of violence against men. (unfortunately I did not see any related data on the sex of the aggressor).

And check out the significantly greater rates of IPV for homo– and bisexuals! It’s too bad they didn’t add these two categories together, so that we could have a comparison between heterosexuals and non-heterosexuals. Huge difference right there.

And that’s not examining sexual harassment problems.

‘,’Why have so many people normalized homosexuality?’,’0′,”,’publish’,’open’,’closed’,”,’why-have-so-many-people-normalized-homosexuality’,”,”,’2010-09-02 19:01:12′,’2010-09-02 19:01:12′,”,’0′,’http://socimages.blogsome.com/2010/09/02/why-have-so-many-people-normalized-homosexuality/’,’0′) ***83′,’1′,’2010-09-04 10:57:57′,’2010-09-04 10:57:57′,’


Another more recent comment on the subject – Feb 2013

Turmarion wrote: “straight friends who know them see that they are in no apparent way harbingers of the apocalypse, and have lives not really any messier than those of straight people these days; therefore they’re going to be increasingly inclined, not to say, “You’re sinners, but I still love you,”, but instead, “Maybe the conventional teaching about the evils and horrors of gays just isn’t correct.”

In other words, young people are told that they need to base their knowledge of reality on what their friends tell them about themselves. And they should decide what is right or wrong based on navel-gazing, self-centered interests, and their own privileged world bubble. Yeah, sounds about right. Being completely irresponsible, uninformed and misinformed, but thinking they know it all is exactly where most of them are.

Another dogma they must believe in is that in *every* respect homosexuals and bisexuals are “just like heterosexuals,” even when science and studies show they are not and even when they do more harm (sexual harassment, interpersonal violence, spreading STDs).  No matter how incorrect the conventional liberal teaching that that the harm that homosexuals and bisexuals (along with all other liberals) do is trivial, it is the only narrative that appeals to them.

No matter how much harm is done to whom, it is all trivial,  nothing to see and fret about – nothing happens that is bad in the world, much less horrible, that’s just ridiculous. Reality is just like the sitcoms that I watch on TV – all the gays are nice, just like me. That’s all there is in the world.

And also, regarding the “just as messy” question, these young people are going to compare gay porn to straight porn and say, “Well, where is the problem? How can I criticize homosexual porn if I don’t have enough neurons to criticize all other kinds of porn?” Sounds like the typical liberal young person crusading for homosexual marriage.

Anything goes, and because I feel like doing it, it must be warranted. I don’t have to take responsibility for any psychological dysfunctions regarding relationships and sexuality, why should people with a homosexuality problem? Everyone and everything is normal. Questioning MTV is a really bad idea. If people are doing harm thanks to the liberal ideas about sexuality that I am spreading, not my problem. Because I don’t even recognize the harm.  And who says that harm in the area of relationships and sexuality is a problem? It’s so much easier to simply be in denial and think of myself as being good exactly because I’m so comfortably blind. All my friends think this way. That means I’m right. People with information about harm, dysfunction, abuse, exploitation, harassment, that’s all wrong, that’s a bunch of nonsense, all these exaggerated evils. These things don’t really  happen in reality, and when they do, it has NOTHING to do with the way I think or behave. I’m never responsible for anything. And if I ever am, well, it’s no big deal, because I’m normal. So is everyone else. The APA said so. That’s Science. Science is NEVER wrong.