It was in the summer of 1993, enduring the sweltering humid Philadelphia heat, I wanted to punch him in the face. My missionary companion and I were doing the Lord’s work — or at least I was — and I couldn’t stand him. In fact, being around him all day every day had made every one of his facial expressions annoying. He’d leave toast crumbs in the butter and his dirty laundry lying around. Hearing him breathe was infuriating. In reality, he was no more or less annoying, I guess, than anyone else, but I had had my fill after a few months of his 24/7 breathing, toast-crumb, presence.
A twinge of that annoyance born of overexposure bubbled up this past week listening to Hillary Clinton handle (sort of) questions from reporters about her email scandal. It wasn’t even that she was lying. Of course she was lying. She’s Hillary Clinton. The lying comes with the Clinton brand. It was something else.
For months she’s stayed in the shadows while she charts some kind of pathway back to the White House. I was fine with her absence, but it didn’t make this heart grow fonder. Not at all. That monotonous cadence of her less-than-feminine voice laced with a potpourri of condescension, contempt, and the indignance that she even has to answer to the questioning unwashed masses, all scraped across my eardrums like fingernails on a chalkboard. Horrific auditory flashbacks of the 1990’s splashed images of pantsuits and flabby thighs across the canvas of my assaulted mind and had me begging the Creator to spare us from the next 18 months. Heaven forbid four years. Eight? Just take me now.
“Just take me now” – priceless
*Neal Larson of Idaho Falls is a conservative talk show host on KID Newsradio 590am and 92.1fm, and also at http://www.590kid.com. “The Neal Larson Show” can be heard weekday mornings from 8:00 to 10:00. His email address is email@example.com.