I need to write a book on this issue, but for the time being, here is a summarized explanation. Hopefully I will get to my book in the future with a few co-authors.
I believe one of the main problems of homosexual propaganda refers to the false opposition between inborn versus “free” choice. The problem with this false opposition is that it eliminates from consideration a very large and significant part of the mind that is neither inborn, nor chosen. There is a very important third sphere that is being left out and which is very real and which complements the other two.
A person is born with a developmental matrix, including the part of the matrix that will develop into a heterosexual adult that has healthy, adult relationships with the opposite sex. However, this matrix is not finished and it will change (including being deformed) in a variety of directions. Therefore, the mind has a deep plasticity. Regarding many characteristics, it’s not hard-wired.
Let’s take the example of a man with a homosexual problem that claims he began to have sexual feelings for teenage boys early on. Although he began to feel certain feelings early on, if he had been abused or had had other deforming experiences, they could very well impact how his mind functioned regarding sexuality and the opposite sex.
Therefore, a key point is that any person’s mind will develop conscious and unconscious mechanisms and dynamics that can deeply affect it later in life, which were not present when this individual was born.
This is why people are not born pedophiles, homosexuals, necrophiles, etc. Although there are different levels of choices regarding sexuality and one’s behaviors, no one with a particular sexuality dysfunction deliberately chooses all of its dynamics – and *especially* not the unconscious ones. Since when do you choose what goes on in your unconscious? However, this doesn’t mean we are helpless, little creatures with no free will.
Human beings are born heterosexual, the human species is heterosexual, but people aren’t finished as infants. This means that a person’s mind will change and develop or degenerate in infinite ways as they go through life. Homosexuality is similar to any other psycho-sexual dysfunction – in terms of being a dysfunction. It is not inborn, but like other dysfunctions, such a disorder or dysfunction is developed over time, due to a set of factors that can vary from individual to individual.
You solve the underlying psychological, cultural, and sociological issues producing various homosexual dynamics in the mind of such an individual, and the person lives as they were born to be: heterosexual. It’s not a question of changing the blueprint, it’s a question of solving underlying issues that are preventing the person from relating to the opposite sex, or which are disorienting the person towards the same sex.
Another important point is that people cannot be anything as complex and as encompassing as a homosexual, a pedophile, or a zoophile without thinking. Human sexuality does not exist without a huge component of thinking. And, for the most part, you choose how you are going to think about the millions of subjects under the sexuality umbrella. This is another very important proof that people choose to be homosexual or bisexual, because without thinking, it is impossible.
I will add something about biology in another comment.
I also recommend this article:
Same-Sex Science
The social sciences cannot settle the moral status of homosexuality.
Stanton L. Jones
http://www.firstthings.com/article/2012/01/same-sex-science
Note that there is an expanded version of the article also available.
……………….
Second major point: There is nothing that consists in a sound argument of why a person would be born deformed as a homosexual.
Because a person with a homosexual problem is not the same as an intersex person. That an intersex person could be disoriented towards the same sex is understandable, because of their lack of correct sexual definition – which is biological. But these people are not whom we are referring to when we say “homosexual.”
What we call a homosexual is a person who is biologically heterosexual, but only psychologically has problems with heterosexuality. They are completely analogous to pedophiles. A pedophile is biologically structured to have sex and reproduce with adults, but it’s in their psychology that they are warped. The same for people with a bestiality attraction. There is no reason why anyone would be born this way, just as there is no reason why anyone would be born a pedophile, a necrophile, etc.
Most LGBTs are ignorant about their own minds and problems, and given that they are complicated, many don’t want to treat their deformed minds. They are desperate to claim they have no problems or they were born that way, exactly so they can run away from investigating all the problems they have. It is partially for this reason, that is, how ignorant people are regarding the psychology of people with a homosexual problem, that many researchers attempted to find a genetic determination to homosexuality. If you are completely ignorant about psychological dynamics, how else do you explain everything that happens in the mind of a person? You falsely claim they were born that way.
Staton Jones explains: “In 1991, Michael Bailey published his famous behavior genetics study. But the deeper problem with the Bailey study was, yet again, the hoary problem of representativeness of samples. Bailey, to his
credit, recognized that his findings might not be representative, and so conducted a follow-up study.
Bailey reported truthfully that the genetic contribution to homosexual orientation failed to reach statistical significance in this new study. The refutation, of course, failed to capture any attention in the popular media, and similarly is often left out the textbook treatments of the subject. In 2010, an impressive and much larger study 36 utilizing the Swedish Twin Registry produced almost identical results to Bailey’s more recent findings: 7 out of 71 (9.8%) identical male twin pairs in which one twin is gay matched such that the second co- twin was also gay, a stunningly low finding also ignored by the media.”
Every single study that has claimed there was a biological determination to homosexuality has been proven just plain wrong after examined by other researchers. Most claims are shown to be false, utterly distorted, or completely inconclusive. Think about this, every single one.
From a Stanton Jones article on the subject (Sexual Orientation and Reason -On the Implications of False Beliefs about Homosexuality*):
Discussion of a genetic contribution has shifted to yet a more sophisticated statistical estimate, that of “heritability.” Heritability is an estimation of how much of the variability of a particular phenomenon such as sexual orientation, out of a total of 100%, may be attributed to genetic influences versus environmental influences. The higher the heritability estimate, the greater the genetic contribution.
The Långström 37 study, for instance, produced heritability estimates of”.34-.39″ for male homosexuality for their subject populations.But what does this estimate mean?
Among the many psychological traits showing this level of heritability are a dizzying array of social attitudes including inclinations towards right-wing authoritarianism, certain measures of inclination towards religiosity or religious fundamentalism, and church attendance. One study by a giant of behavioral genetics, Robert Plomin, even examined the heritability of that most mundane and ubiquitous of behaviors, television watching, 39 and found an average heritability estimate of .45 for the proclivity to watch television, marginally higher than the typical estimate for the heritability of homosexuality.
Now you know: anyone who believes that people are born homosexuals must also believe that people are biologically determined to be couch-potatoes! And the same goes for low intellectual ability – because IQ is also one of the “traits” that are biologically determined. We are back to the Eugenics ideology of the early 20th century, when society believed that psychological and social aspects of humans were biologically determined (laziness, low intelligence, poverty, criminality, etc.).
=======================================
From Stanton Jones’ study:
Of these 61 subjects, 53% were categorized as successful outcomes by the standards of Exodus Ministries. Specifically, 23% of the subjects reported success in the form of “conversion” to heterosexual orientation and functioning, while an additional 30% reported stable behavioral chastity with substantive dis-identification with homosexual orientation. On the other hand, 20% of the subjects reported giving up on the change process and fully embracing gay identity.
We argue that our results do not prove that categorical change in sexual orientation is possible for everyone or anyone, but rather that for some, meaningful shifts along a continuum that constitutes real change appear possible.
The results do not prove that no one is harmed by the attempt to change, but rather that the attempt to change DOES NOT appear to be harmful ON AVERAGE or INHERENTLY HARMFUL.
These findings challenge the commonly expressed views of the mental health establishment that change of sexual orientation is impossible or very uncommon, and that the attempt to change is highly likely to produce harm for those who make such an effort.
=======================
UPDATE JUNE 8, 2013
From the sociological and psychological side, here’s two articles to note:
Was It a Phase? Young Women’s Relinquishment of Lesbian/Bisexual Identities Over a 5-Year Period
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
Lisa M. Diamond
Click to access Was%20it%20a%20Phase.pdf
==============
Female Bisexuality From Adolescence to Adulthood: Results From a 10-Year Longitudinal Study
Click to access Female_bisexuality_results_from_a_10-year_study_0.pdf
Nearly 80 young sexual-minority women, identified as lesbian, bisexual, or unlabeled, have been assessed five times over a 10-year period, beginning in late adolescence and following through to early adulthood.
………
By T5, 60% OF T1 LESBIANS HAD HAD SEXUAL CONTACT WITH A MAN, and 30% HAD BEEN ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH A MAN. Many of these women resolved the resulting contradiction between their lesbian identity and their other-sex attractions/behavior by SWITCHING to unlabeled or bisexual identities
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
From:
What We Got Wrong About Sexual Identity Development: Unexpected Findings From a Longitudinal Study of Young Women – Diamond (2005).pdf:
There is this – p. 14:
Compared with respondents who identified as lesbian or bisexual at T4, the unlabeled women reported significantly greater absolute gaps between their percentage of physical versus emotional same-sex attractions.
This finding demonstrates that the overall fit between a woman’s physical and emotional feelings for women and men is a key piece of evidence she might use to assess her sexual identity. As one woman said, quite straightforwardly, during her second interview,
Sometimes I worry that I will never settle down with anyone, because the way I feel about guys is mainly sexual, and the way I feel about women is mainly emotional. So I’m always going between the two, and I don’t know what to call that, you know?
Yet traditional sexual identity models make no accommodation for this sort of quandary. According to the traditional paradigm, women claiming discrepancies between their emotional and physical attractions are either confused heterosexuals or repressed lesbians.
=============
This example also blows a hole the size of a crater in the simplistic way that “born this way” proponents think about “sexual orientation.” First because this example stresses what I have pointed out previously. The concept of “sexual orientation” is a fraud, since the human mind in respect to sexuality and relationships is extremely complex and can never be reduced to “sexual attraction” only – especially not of the benign kind, and which is what much of the research focuses on, ignoring how perverted and perverse so much of sexual attraction is in a highly dysfunctional society are ours. There is no such thing as an independent, isolated part of the brain that will have any kind of sexual attraction that is unrelated to anything else that happens in the brain, or to that person’s entire psychology; or unrelated to their their entire personal history and their development history, their cultural and ideological conditioning, etc. Claiming that sexual attraction happens out of the blue in the brain and then determines every other aspect of the social and psychological functioning of a human being is simply absurd.
It is not sexual attraction that determines the rest of a person’s psychology. It is exactly the opposite: a person’s entire psychological/emotional/cultural/ideological structure will determine specifically what kinds of sexual attractions are produced in their mind. This model explains and fits every type of attraction produced, from the healthiest to the most deformed, dysfunctional, and perverted. Therefore the term “sexual attraction” is highly inadequate, since “attraction” implies something mostly benign.
For example, how do the “born this way” folks explain why a man would want to see a woman have sex with an animal if he is not into bestiality himself? Do they claim there is a genetic determination for a man feeling sexual “attraction” to watching a woman have sex with an animal? Do they claim it’s epigenetics? Should we do twin studies? The level of irrationality that is involved in these “biologically determined” theories about “sexual orientation” is just mind boggling. And this is especially true concerning any concept of “homosexual sexual orientation.”
On a side note, this example above also underscores what a fallacy it is to claim that gender is irrelevant or interchangeable.
…………….
*See
https://alessandrareflections.wordpress.com/homosexuality-page/
Do not confuse the term “(homo)sexuality” with “(homo) sexual orientation. They are not the same.
Homosexuality is about sexual attitudes, values, attractions, repulsions, concepts and interpretations about sexuality, power and domination or subjection dynamics relating to the sexual other, affection or objectification of the sexual other, admiration or disrespect related to the sexual object,conscious and unconscious feelings related to self or other which shapes or deforms relation and sexual feelings towards other, obsessions and distortions, projections, fantasies, dysfunctions, traumas, impacts from social conditioning, problems with masculinity or femininity,
problems with personal history and fundamental caretakers, etc. that will result in the sexualization of someone of the same sex and a hindering of the normal sexualization of someone of the opposite sex.
Society needs to be concerned about homosexuality, not homosexual orientation. Homosexual attraction or desire is only a mere product of a myriad configurations of these aforementioned dysfunctional psycho-social dynamics.
Another post on the subject here:
Joe Kort, French psychologist, has and continues to investigate and explore reasons why men have sex with men. In 2008, he launched a blog, called Straight Guise, to discuss the subject of men having sex with men.
Here are some reasons he highlights: Repercussions of child sexual abuse; prostitution or “escorting;” search for exciting but personally degrading experiences (using a dildo, “bondage”, etc.); first sexual experience; opportunity/availability; transference of anger/neediness regarding father; physical attraction to men, but emotional attraction/love for women; narcissism; sexual addiction; adultery; exhibitionism; sexual release in prison.
As he well notes, these reasons or complex set of reasons mentioned are not exhaustive. What is so clear is that they show that when we investigate why people engage in same-sex behavior, the fundamental reasons are of a pscyho-emotional-social nature – there is no biological or genetic determination to engage in any of this behavior. If you solve the underlying dysfunctional psycho-social problems, the need for having a perverted same-sex sexuality disappears.
Where Kort errs is in his definition of heterosexuality, bisexuality, and homosexuality – which are all three based on identity. Therefore what an individual thinks of himself determines his sexual category and reality is discarded. This is similar to affirming that if a person thinks they are Napoleon, then they are Napoleon, and reality is irrelevant. Or a pedophile that does not admit he or she is pedophile. By liberal ideology, then they are not a pedophile! This is the flaw with liberal ideology which posits that identity (thoughts) is determinant of reality (concrete).
Another point to note is that Kort has found many reasons already detailed and explored by Nicolosi from NARTH, an organizations that liberals hate with a passion because they expose the truth of how deformed homosexual psychology and sexuality is.
What Kort is really showing is how complex and deformed the minds of all these homosexual and bisexual men are, from a psychological perspective. Not only do they have profound underlying problems generating their perverted attractions to other men, the men he’s referring to in this blog have serious denial problems about being homosexual/bisexual. A denial which Kort only helps to maintain in place, obivously.
In any case, a refreshing read compared to the typical retarded and unethical American psychologist crowd that cannot investigate a single case of homosexuality and continues to promote their blatant ignorance, aside from crushing research efforts on the etiology of homosexuality and its profound underlying problems. With a few exceptions like those researchers investigating the experiences of people who have changed their sexual psychology/orientation (like Lisa M. Diamond).
I think this shows that no matter how much money, virulence, and outright stubborn stupidity liberals spend in order to maintain the lie that homosexuality is genetically determined or inborn, and to deny that is caused by a complex set of underlying psycho-social problems, they will lose in the end and truth will prevail.
Their ignorant ideology will be unmasked for what it is. Even if most American psychologists and psychiatrists right now can only march in ideological lockstep with their ignorant homosexuality agenda precepts, they can’t stop researchers and psychologists around the world from doing the investigations they refuse to do and for showing that organizations like the APA are mostly a fraud and a disservice to society when it comes to issues of sexuality research, and notably of homosexuality.
==================
(updated April 16, 2014)
From anthropology:
Reflections, Reflections by Alessandra 
21 comments
Comments feed for this article
May 8, 2013 at 4:24 pm
Jessica
Maybe people are born LGBT, maybe not. Maybe there is a slight element of choice involved. Maybe if they work on it and try hard they can live straight enough lives so they can marry and have intimacy with members of the opposite sex without being ill.
Maybe they then turn on LGBT people who they see are free to live their own lives, going to work, visiting their parents, seeing friends, reading books, eating food, running companies, playing games, all without being held back by the handicap of being LGBT that they have forced themselves to believe is real.
That’s it! Being a ‘coach potato’ in itself is harmful to oneself. So is being a drug addict, being a drunkard, being a rapist or a killer or paedophile. But in itself being LGBT is not harmful and not a handicap. Like being left-handed or tall or more likely to make the lifestyle choice of becoming a theist or non theist is not harmful in itself.
May 8, 2013 at 4:34 pm
alessandrareflections
Given that you are completely ignorant about the etiology of even a single case of homosexuality and what makes an individual be completely incapable of establishing a wholesome and healthy intimate relationship with the opposite sex, all you wrote above is based on ignorance.
Being profoundly psychologically dysfunctional regarding sexuality is harmful on an individual level, in addition to all the harm that LGBT people do to others in the world. Therefore it certainly is not like being left-handed. It’s much more like having a pedophile or molester problem, or someone who practices S&M, etc. Many pedophiles and other people with deformed sexuality problems go to work, run companies, play games – all without the belief that they have no handicap. It takes ethics to know what a handicap is, and ethics is not something you display.
And, as I like to point out in this blog, LGBT people do an enormous amount of harm in the world, not to mention that this includes a variety of problems related to violence – just a tad different than being “left-handed.” What you promote is an agenda for LGBT people to do harm with impunity – that’s the freedom you’re interested in, besides “going to work, eating, and reading little porn books.” But lacking ethics regarding sexuality and relationships is always a handicap for a person.
And, as you show so well, people with a homosexuality agenda are ignorant.
Another point, people who point out how much harm LGBT people do in the world haven’t “turned on LGBT people.” They are simply exposing what LGBT individuals are in reality. Apparently this is what LGBT people hate the most- that society finds out what LGBT people are really like when they aren’t spinning their little narratives about “going to work, eating, and playing games.” Having a homosexuality agenda is exactly to promote lies about LGBT people.
Your agenda is all about being able to do as much harm and violence as your deformed mind incites you to do, and claim you are not accountable for any of it. As we can see, there’s reality and then there is your narrative. Underneath your claims of LGBT people “going to work, eating, and playing games,” we find sexual harassment, sexual violence, intimate violence, exploitation of minors, promotion of every form of debased and perverted sexual interactions on the planet, along with the greatest spread of syphilis and HIV, among others.
A violent sexuality sewer is not a free society. But you have too many psychological and ethical handicaps to realize this fact.
June 5, 2013 at 11:12 am
Jim Russell
I’m straight, and I am ‘…spinning my little narrative about “going to work, eating, and playing games.’
There goes your theory.
You are a narrow, little tiny person…
June 5, 2013 at 11:56 am
alessandrareflections
You want to name-call, you can go somewhere else.
And if you think you can even restate correctly what my theory is, you are very out of touch with reality.
In order to criticize a theory, you first have to understand it – you haven’t.
Then you have to prove it’s wrong – and not throw out insults. Also something you are incapable of.
I’m just leaving the beginning of your rant as an example of what kind of comments are not welcome here.
June 6, 2013 at 12:40 pm
Monika Gee Grolmusová
Homosexuality is working on the same genetical base as being left-handed.
What is a dominant left-hand doing to you? Right, nothing. I have a friend in school, who was born left-handed. His parents forced him to write and do everything with right hand. He is 16 now. He still feels the outcome of this therapy, based on humiliation and disabling his left-hand, forcing him to do everything with his right. To this moment, he has a tendency to start doing things with his left hand – when we do something new in arts, he takes the tool with his left hand, without thinking. It’s 12 after his ‘therapy’. In eyes of his parents, it worked. In his eyes, he doesn’t know what to do with his hands. Btw, nothing to do with homosexuality. he’s hetero.
I’m a lesbian, who was kicked out of her closed at the age of 13. If you are interested, I never had any relationship at all. I just knew I like girls, so I cried for a million nights, started feeling SO terrible when some of the girls in my class started talking about boys. I wanted to be normal. I prayed to God to make me hetero. To make me like boys, so I can marry and have children, just like I dreamed of when I was little. You know, in my prayers, I forgot something. Really important thing, I guess. When I was little, I liked playing with dolls. I mean, little like 3 years of age. A three year old girl with a not-divorced mother and father, a baby-brother on the way, with NO homosexual person in her family and NO fairy-tale homosexual on TV. In those, dreamy times, I always had two ‘big dolls’, both girls, who had ‘little dolls’ and took care about them. I didn’t find it weird at all. Then society came and my views changed. With my parents being truly homophobic people, I became homophobic, too. I laughed at boys in pink clothes, because my parents always told me they were disgusting, until I befriended one of them and found out how closed-minded I was. That was in the times when I found out, I’m a little more than ‘a little’ different. I was always an introvert, lost in her books and fairy-tale stories. And hey, that wasn’t my choice, too! It was (is) genetic, just as the fact, that History is my favorite subject at school. Well, mostly genetic. I’m genetically better with facts and stories than with numbers, making me far more interested in subjects like this. But back to the homosexuality problem. I prayed to God, just as I said and one day, I went to the priest. He was a friend of my family, unfortunately. He told this my parents. I was send to Exodus.
What was the therapy like? Guess, you can three times? Discussions? No. Biblical texts? Of course not, at the end of the day, when our future husband dies and there’s no son, they don!t want us to sleep with his brother until some boy sees the light of the world, right? (that doesn’t mean that I’m a critic of Bible. I just think that seeing the world in new directions, we should change our minds. The light will always lead our way to the right changes – I guess). Talking to psychologist? Nope.
Neither one nor second nor third option is valid, because these methods DO NOT work. Nobody can change their sexual orientation. I’ll take a total extreme – a rape. The researchs about raped women says that about 3 percents of raed women are gay. Come on! That’s less than a percentil of gays in normal population (I’m not gonna lie, some of lesbians are simply not attractive to those idiots). And NONE of them changed their orientation after the rape. This is not how it works.
So, the methods? Humiliation. Telling me how much my parents are disappointed in me. That I’m an idiotic pig (as you can see, this statement doesn’t reffer to my orientation, I was said just for fun). That I’m worthless. Human garbage. Neurotic and labile. Weak. That I chose this hell. That God doesn’t love me anymore.
I ended the camp and told everyone I’m cured. I thought I’ll feel better. To end the ‘therapy’ my church chose me some boy I should date. We were two broken souls. We pretended. I didn’t stop looking at pretty girls, he didn’t stop looking at guys. I still cried myself to sleep at night. I fell to a deep depression. My grades, usually straight-As got down sometimes to Ds, because I wasn’t able to concentrate. I developed mental anorexia and became a stick, because I thought I was a worthless piece of human garbage. A disappointment. I hated myself, I hate myself even now. I think I’m a bad person and I doubt I will be ever able to have a healthy relationship (with a person of the same sex, I’d never be able to be with opposite) in my life. I’d feel so guilty when kissing her, cuddling with her, everything… just so guilty, so sinful, even when I almost hear Him, whispering to my ear that love is nothing wrong, that I should love and give my love to as many people as I can. But I just can!t follow.
So yes, I think that homosexuality is genetic. Just as being a couch-potato, yes. The basics of your personality are in your genetic material. Some people are born couch-potatoes. But it’s something absolutely different. They can go for a quick run to be healthier. They’ll hate it and then go back to their couch. But for a heathier life they will do that. then we have a sporty people, who’ll never become a couch-potatoes, because sitting is just so boooring. But they’ll go to the cinema with their girlfriend of boyfriend anyway. For the sake of a relationship.
Running or going to cinema are activities two hours each. You can go back to your lifestyle then, be a happy couchie or sportie and feel comfortable. Changing a hand you write with or sexual orientation are closing your true personality for the rest of your life. Hating it with the things you do. Hurting yourself when writing or kissing the person of opposite sex.
And another story for you – one of people I meet everyday, but we’re not friends or anything. He’s kind of like me, but got to the ‘you-are-neurotic-and-you-will-become-hetero-after-you-talk-to-you-dad-and-start-chopping-wood’ therapy. He got through that. He told me that he felt like he locked himself in a prison and told himself ‘That’s right, now I’m controlling myself with my will’. He married a woman. He told me he wanted to run away, fast, that something in him screamed, but he told himself that he can’t stop now. But in a half-year, he found out he can’t have children with this woman, because he doesn’t love her. Just a note – they didn’t have sex even on a wedding night, never, because he alway stold her he’s scared. Simply nothing between them. They had to divorce. He almost killed himself, but in statistics, it’s written that change of his orientation was sucessful. But do you know what? When I met him, he seemed like an amazing person, who loves everyone, but he was sad, all the time. I mean, he looked melancholic. And in the moment when something funny happened, it was like there were two hims. He started lighting like a lamp, looked absolutely free for a few seconds. Than became the same sad him again. A half-year ago, he found a man. they fell in love. And now, now he looks like that lamp most of the time. A perfectly happy man, one of the kindest and caringest people I know.
I’ll end here, but think about it… why would people be homosexual – why put yourself in such a risk?
By the way, I have the right to be immature and have bad grammar. I’m a fourteen year old, learning English for two years. But I think my English is good enough to show you that I’m not weak (anymore). I’m a strong-willed person who cares about others. No Satan, no sinner, no person who didn’t try to change.
Have a nice day.
June 6, 2013 at 1:22 pm
alessandrareflections
Hi Monika,
“Talking to psychologist? Nope.
Neither one nor second nor third option is valid, because these methods DO NOT work. ”
If I understood your experience correctly, you never did any therapy. Or if you did, you never did therapy with a therapist that you chose and liked. And it appears that whatever this Exodus thing was like, it was very brief.
I’m sorry, but from what I can see, you have no idea what therapy is, how many different kinds of therapies and therapists there are out there, and if you could get any benefit from any of them. And you are certainly mistaken if you think that therapy is something that you can do in a week. And you are certainly mistaken that any and every therapy will work. It’s not like that.
And while you claim that everything you feel must be inborn, if you ever study psychology and sociology, you will understand that many of the feelings and dynamics that you have inside your mind today, you never had when you were born. And that’s not just concerning sexuality. The mind develops, along with many other psychological mechanisms.
Surely you don’t think a baby’s mind is no different than yours?
All the psychological changes that happened from the time you were born, you often cannot even be conscious of. But they are still inside your mind. And if you had had a different life experience, your mind would not be the same as it is now.
You have your life ahead of you and you will decide what you want. You can go through life not knowing why you feel many things you do, or you can try to find someone that you feel can help investigate why you feel the way you do. Maybe you’ll succeed, maybe you won’t. Therapy, however, mostly never works if you don’t like the therapist. And it won’t work either if they aren’t a capable professional. You see, it’s not that simple. You don’t go to a therapist like you go get a hamburger.
I’m sorry, but if you decide never to investigate your own psychology, it won’t prove to me that you were born with a homosexuality problem. Investigating your own psychology is key to understanding it. No investigation usually means a limited knowledge. And when you don’t understand psychology, isn’t the only explanation left to everything that happens inside your mind biology?
As you can imagine, I hope that you will someday have the opportunity to investigate your feelings, how your unconscious works, and what dynamics are underlying many of your feelings.
I also hope that you will not grow up to be a highly unethical person like so many who insist on normalizing homosexuality have a tendency to do so today. As you may see, on this blog I discuss a lot of issues of harm and violence that are caused by LGBT people, especially those who think homosexuality is normal.
June 6, 2013 at 4:50 pm
Monika Gee Grolmusová
Hello again!
If you understand me correctly, I read a million books about a therapy of homosexuality. Exodus was a 6-months-long thing which has a 90% sucess in changing one’s sexual orientation. Not in my case. Not in any case really.
The fact I’m fourteen means I’m immature. That I don’t get everything. I know. But I get me. I get the things which are inside of me. And I can find information.
“Surely you don’t think a baby’s mind is no different than yours?”
Sound like a sentence for a five-year-old child. I don’t blame you – for you I seem like someone who cannot understand you opinion, and ALSO a child.
But I’m not that dumb. My baby mind is a baby mind. My baby eyes are blue, my eyes at 13 years of age are brown. Everybody is starting to feel sexuality (any sexuality, I mean, for example heterosexuals, you can put the people with ‘problems’ somewhere else) in different ages. From studies, it has nothing to do with raising a child. The two things are:
a) society
b) genes
While the point a) society means that if every girl in your class has a boyfriend, you should probably find someone too, because otherwise you’d look dumb.
But now let’s see the people ‘with a problem’. What is important for the ‘coming-out’ or whatever you name it?
Yes, in my point of view – points a) and b)
You realise that something is ‘wrong’ or ‘different’ because of point b), but you don’t tell anyone because of a). Just like me. I didn’t choose this, I guess that nobody with an exception of ‘bisexual chick’ girls at some high schools (I don’t get their point, but from a whole different reason – they make prejudices – for both bisexual and gay people), it’s just a hell for us. The literal and the biblical hell you don’t want to go into.
For the genetics point – you didn’t read the studies about siblings, twins and so on? Do you know that when somebody have five boys the biggest chance of being gay has the youngest one? And do you know that this has a really logical reason? I lost the video where it was brilliantly explained and I’m worse than that, but it’s basically because of female hormones which are ‘attacking’ the male embryo. With every boy, the embryo becomes more feminine.
This and a lot more with the ‘gay gene’ is in epigenetics. You sure know what it is… it’s also widely publicited regarding cancer and other deadly diseases.
You are kind of making me feel really stupid when you think that when I don’t understand everything, I automatically say ‘so it must be biological’.
My anorexia was a mental disease. I could be genetically ‘better’ for anorexia, but I don’t think I’m this case. Same with depressions, burn-out syndrome we are learning about in our psychology class now and a lot more.
I know I’ll never change what you think of homosexuals. But could you please think about following (I don’t want answers. I heard them all before. Or you can answer me, but you’ll maybe see how… eh… illusional it can be).
– You are telling me about violence from LGBT people. But that’s perfetcly normal. I’m originally from Czech Republic. One of the biggest and worst murderers here is considered homosexual. And do you know why did he became such a psychopath? He had a girlfriend, fiancée when he did these terrible things. But he, according to a studied therapeist, is a closeted homosexual, also a younger sibling. He probably has a lot of complexes and problems with himself. He did not kill that people because he’s homosexual – in his eyes is never was and isn’t. But it eats him. Kind of. And he is also a psychopath from other reasons, but this could be one. Then there are a lot of ‘open’ LGBT people who killed someone/did other horrible things. Just as heterosexual people. While you are writing about homosexuals, others, all straight did the same things. 4 percent of people are gay, 4 percent of murderers are gay. That’s logical. Hate crimes? And how many people die every year because someone can’t accept who they love?
Also, you don’t seem to think I’m evil (maybe you do, I don’t see through the screen). So, do you think that if I someday find some woman I can share my life with (because my homosexuality is not a ‘problem’ for me anymore, just the feelings), there will be some build-in switch which will make me a criminal ruining lives? Really? I mean, that would be either a biologil switch (which, look at it, sounds like a sci-fi movie), or there is nothing with criminality and homosexuality at all. With an exception from above. But just as you can see, it wasn’t because somebody ws homosexual – it was because he thought it was wrong. And this, self-hate, causes problems in everything – your dominant left hand, sexuality, gender identity, for example your high/low intelligence, how you look and so on. And psychological reasons to do such a thing like murder – your weight and what you think of it, the fact you never had a realtionship, wanting power, wanting to have some control over your life, or unhealed burn-out syndrome (some psychologists think this was a Hitler’s problem). A million reasons why to be a criminal – and you pick homosexuality? Gay criminals are just like the other criminals – same motivations, same crimes and they, of course, deserve the same ‘treatment’ – go to a prison and don’t go to a world of normal, moral people anymore.
– What is my (or anyone other’s) homosexuality doing to you? It’s NOT like pedophilia or anything you and ‘others’ write about. Homosexual relationship is a relationship between two consenting adults who care deeply about each other, help each other, go through life together. There is something (sorry, that was sarcastic) like an age of consent. That means, nobody can have any sexual intercourse until they reach this age. Having a sex with an animal is not two consenting adults. Animals cannot consent. The same for dead people. Like, this is sick.
I do not do any harm. I’ll love some woman and I’d like to adopt some child noone wants A child who’d grow up all alone. I don’t want any pride as long as you respect me, don’t do any harm to me or others I care about.
And, you might me interested – I know what unconscious means. It’s that thing dreams are based on, some of our reactions are based on and so on. But gay people are different from the early childhood, or don’t you see? It’s not neurotic or wrong-parentage thing. A lot of people are neurotic and a lot of them are from divorced families. Those people are mostly feeling rejected and alone, unfortunately and it leads them to a lot of bad things, but it doesn’t make them homosexual.
There are a lot of things which are based on a free choice, our will or our past (let’s get to the raped women again – they can be afraid of anything what has anything to do with sex for the rest of their lives), but you can see that when you talk to psychologist. I went to a psychologist. She is married to a man and has nothing to do with ‘homosexual propaganda’ or anything else. She didn’t even know I’m gay before I went there.
We talked about my unconscious, too. The only thing which is making me different from what I would be without my homosexuality is Exodus. I’ll probably have problems with my self-esteem for the rest of my life, I’ll never trust people easily – I don’t believe them anymore, I’m scared of churches – I go pray three times a week and I probably went to all churches in the city, so nobody will remember me, nobody from Exodus will recognise me and so on. I’m paranoid because of my unconscious. I know. But not gay. I thought so. But no. You’ll never believe me, I know this very well. I don’t know what am I writing it anyway – maybe to show the other side for the readers? I guess this would be it. There should be a discussion about things – it moves a simple statement to a new level. It shows the mind of the person who wrote it.
But thank you for a kind response. I guess I can guarantee that you don’t treat all gay people equally – but hey, you have the right, 4% of assholes are gay.
And don’t hate anyone. Think it’s unnatural, but don’t hate people. It hurts them deeply and they end badly. Naïve me, right? I have an age for it, for my early hippie-lennonism. Later I’ll find world is cruel, guaranteed too.
You don’t hrow vulgar words to people who disagree with you it’s noce to see that. At the end of the day, ‘Der Ton macht die Musik’.
Have a nice day and don’t worry, you’ll probably never hear of me again.
M.
June 6, 2013 at 5:45 pm
alessandrareflections
Hi Monika,
That’s a big email! Here are some points:
Reading about psychology and doing therapy are two very different things! But since you don’t know what doing therapy is like, or at least you have had one type of experience (I don’t really know what it was like), and it was bad, and you don’t know that there are many different kinds of therapies, you prefer at this point not knowing there are many different types of therapy. Your choice. You think they are all the same, but in that you are very mistaken.
“For the genetics point – you didn’t read the studies about siblings, twins and so on? ”
Actually, didn’t you read they have been debunked? I guess not. It seems you don’t like reading anything that proves your theory wrong. Your choice.
Speaking of choice, did you choose to have anorexia? I would think not. And yet, it was a product of your mind. I don’t think you were born with anorexia or with any biological determination to develop anorexia. If you would have had a different personal experience, you would not have developed anorexia. That’s how I view your homosexuality problem. It’s not different than the anorexia; neither is chosen, but neither is inborn.
“Homosexual relationship is a relationship between two consenting adults who care deeply about each other, help each other, go through life together.
Actually, you are quite mistaken about this too. There is nothing that is obligatory consensual related to any homosexual behavior. And that’s why we have LGBT people doing so much violence and harm in society. Not only that, even when they don’t do it themselves, many lie about others who do.
Why do I speak out about this? Because we have mass problems related to sexuality in society and they basically all involve LGBT people (not exclusively, but certainly do). You are used to talking about people who only care about themselves; I’m not one of these people. And I want a good, healthy, non-violent society to live in regarding sexuality and relationships.
I look around at the gutter that is society – which is profoundly liberal – and this is what I see: sexual harassment, abuse, exploitation, prostitution, homosexuality/bisexuality, adult and child porn, promiscuity, abortions, STD epidemics, adultery, S&M, people degrading and perverting sexuality in every way… That is the current liberal society that normalizes homosexuality that I live in. They say everything is normal – I don’t think so. I think when people have a psychological problem regarding sexuality, they need to take responsibility for it and try to resolve it.
As you can see from the above, my problem is not only with the harm that LGBT people are doing, but that is certainly one problem that I focus on because it is so central to the dominant culture regarding sexuality. Moreover, people who normalize homosexuality persecute people with different views from jobs and education.
“You don’t throw vulgar words to people who disagree with you it’s nice to see that.”
You didn’t come here to insult me, I don’t insult you. You also get a discount because you are young, despite your misguided views. As you very wisely remarked, the nasty words will come later, probably in a little time. In a few years, you will get very politicized and quite possibly fanatical. Maybe even seething with hatred for people like myself who don’t view your homosexuality problem as inborn and who refuse to be silenced.
Most of the people who normalize homosexuality and try to comment here only throw vulgar words, directly or indirectly. That’s another reason why I am politically opposed to them.
The more things change, the more they stay the same… but not always.
June 6, 2013 at 6:43 pm
Monika Gee Grolmusová
Hey, calm down. Really, you’ll never hear of me again. Points:
– I chose to have anorexia. I wanted it, because I though I’ll be skinnier. When it changes to disease, it’s just a emergency way of body to make your dying easier
– The siblings? There are many studies on that, some of them regarding intersexuality, too. The Tegan and Sara twins could be an example of that. Both gay. That’s quite a little chance.
– I do not silence people or try to not look at other’s arguments. I have a little feeling you ignored them. Yes, there arecriminals between LGBT people. Yes, a male-to-male sexual intercourse it the one with by far the biggest chance to get AIDS.
– My views are not misguided, my views are different from yours. I could as easily say yours are misguided, but that’s not true. It’s alost sure that we both stated some untrue statement in our comments. Our stands and argument will become old and irracional over time.
– Studying psychology and trying to apply it to yourself regarding trying to change yourself is more of a complex process. I also got from my anorexia alone. Not coming back.
– The problem with vulgar people is, there are many more hetero than gay people to throw the bad words around. I don’t say they are any worse in discussions, it’s about intelligence, mainly the social, and sometimes, it’s really low in both groups. You can’t say that all people from (for example) NOM are nice. Did you see the ‘Gathering Storm’? I know it probably oppose your views, but still. It was pretty nasty. The last ‘biology’ one was WAY nicer.
– Why would I be fanatical? Remember the man from my first comment? Well, he is sure not fanatical. And interested in politics? I don’t want to be rude, but in Europe, the politics are s**ty enough to make it all disgusting. Also, it’s not like in America. There are many partys and ways to choose from. And in no party you find 100% anti-gay/ 100% pro-gay people. And I thought that being mature means not being more stupid than in your teens! (Note, please: my age is exactly the age to be vulgar and fanatical… don’t you think I’m maybe just a little different from the ‘average teen’? Okay, you don’t. I respect you. I’ll respect you in a ten,twenty, thirty years). By the way, I could be rude – but I strongly believe in the quote I quoted.
– You’re right, my sexuality is my responsilibity. My coming-ou is my responsibility. If I’m going to get to any problems because of it, it’s all my fault. If I do any harm, it’s all my fault. I have no prablem with being honest to myself.
– My choice. Exactly. Maybe it’s wrong. Maybe I need to fall to the hard ground. But that’s about other things.
– And what do I think of myself? I think that I have nice handwritting and ‘things’, also a great immatriculation dress. That I’m precise, always on time, never vulgar and honest (that are all compliments I got this year). I’m labile and easy to fall into depression, but usually determined to get out of it. Sometimes too weak. Not always right. Not always wrong. A person with pros and cons. Like everyone else. Maybe a little less.
Nice day, like always.
June 7, 2013 at 9:54 am
alessandrareflections
Hi Monika,
You said: “Hey, calm down. ”
If you imagined I wasn’t calm when writing to you, then that’s your imagination, but not reality.
“I chose to have anorexia. I wanted it, because I though I’ll be skinnier. When it changes to disease, it’s just a emergency way of body to make your dying easier”
I think that’s an incorrect and simplistic way to frame what anorexia is, which is always a disease. No one chooses to develop anorexia, just as no one chooses to develop any kind of psychological disease or dysfunction, and that also applies to a homosexuality problem.
“I do not silence people ”
I wasn’t referring at all to you. There are many adults trying to silence and persecute anyone who doesn’t incorrectly think that homosexuality is inborn. And they are viciously repressive. That’s the society we have to live in when people normalize homosexuality.
“Why would I be fanatical?”
Because it’s what a great number of people who think that homosexuality is inborn are. And like you, they have basically no knowledge about psychology, unconscious processes, psychological dysfunctions and diseases, therapy, etc.
“My views are not misguided, my views are different from yours.”
Whatever incorrect views you have are misguided. If they are different than mine, it is irrelevant. “Genetic homosexuality” studies, like twin studies, have been debunked and yet you are still quoting them. Can you thoroughly understand the level of science in these studies or in the reviews that proved them to be false? I don’t think so. In fact, I don’t think that’s true for the majority of adults who quote these studies, myself included.
It is true that believing in studies that have already been proven to be false or incorrect is a choice. A rather desperate choice, but still a choice.
This choice is made based on emotions and ideology for the majority of people, and not scientific knowledge.
You think that anorexia is a choice and that homosexuality is inborn. We will stop here then.
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June 9, 2013 at 7:29 am
alessandrareflections
elmo5159 left a comment (which was mostly not approved) where they said:
“Since you’re obviously one of those who are stupid enough to believe that homosexuals choose to be that way, tell us when you chose your sexual orientation.”
…………………………………………………………
We must highlight that elmo5159 has a serious problem dealing with the reality of what I write. I actually start this very page by saying:
“I believe one of the main problems refers to the false opposition between inborn versus “free” choice. The problem with this false opposition is that it eliminates from consideration a very large and significant part of the mind that is neither inborn, nor chosen. ”
Neither inborn, nor chosen. And elmo5159 asks why I think “it is chosen.”
And I ask elmo5159 why she can’t read.
…………………………………………………………….
elmo5159 also claims that “Homosexual Behavior Largely Shaped By Genetics” and then cites some studies.
Yet I don’t know of a single medical or psychiatric body that claims this or who has been able to prove it. I imagine that the articles she cites were covered by the Stanton Jones article I linked to and do not see elmo5159 being able to refute what Jones wrote.
NARTH and the APA certainly DO NOT claim that homosexual behavior is largely shaped by genetics.
http://www.narth.com/docs/deemphasizes.html
The APA most recently stated:
“The American Psychological Association (APA) acknowledges that despite much research into the possible genetic, hormonal, social and cultural influences on sexual orientation, NO EVIDENCE HAS EMERGED that would allow scientists to pinpoint the PRECISE CAUSES of sexual orientation. ”
Yet elmo5159 claims the APA is wrong and that she has evidence that the APA and NARTH don’t have. Given that elmo5159 can’t even read correctly a simple paragraph that I write, I am unconvinced with any claims she makes.
elmo5159 also writes: Still, the APA concludes that “most people experience little or no sense of choice about their sexual orientation.”
Given that everyone is born heterosexual, this is true in this sense, but reality is more complicated. After a person is born, they can develop all kinds of psychological/social/ideological dysfunctional problems regarding sexuality (which obviously include homosexuality), just like they can develop other psychologically dysfunctional problems like anorexia.
And here is where the picture is complicated, however, in regard to the question of choice and sexual attraction. Let us make an analogy with anorexia. No one chooses to have anorexia. People develop anorexia over time, due to a complex configuration of underlying problems, which also include their cultural environment. Even though having anorexia is not chosen, an individual will then have conscious options of what to do about it. And what they do consciously will impact their anorexia, which was not chosen to begin with. Having certain choices available, if they then choose to go see a therapist and find a good one and are able to work through what is causing the anorexia (which may include factors that do not depend on the person’s will or which they can control), they might heal from it. On the other hand, if they choose not to treat their anorexia, they will likely never heal from it.
It’s absurd to think that because a person did not choose to have anorexia that they were born with some kind of genetic determination to develop anorexia. The same is true for homosexuality, pedophilia, homosexual pedophilia, S&M, etc.
The more ignorant people are about psychology, they more they try to explain everything through “inborn” biology theories. And this attempt becomes patently absurd when the phenomenon involves ideological, cultural, and social conditioning, as human sexuality clearly does.
June 11, 2013 at 12:34 pm
elmo5159
elmo left a second comment here (mostly deleted) which started with:
June 12, 2013 at 1:51 am
alessandrareflections
Now the interesting thing is that the link was originally posted (and continues to be posted) in my first reply to elmo. The link has always been there for people who actually read what I write.
This is the second time in this thread alone that Elmo shows she is clearly too stupid to read what I write (and this after having already unloaded a lot of insults and tripe on another thread*). She goes to show how many irrational filters operate when people “think” about sexuality. And it proves once again that people who are too stupid to read or think cannot debate at the level of this blog.
I wouldn’t mind having a debate on the issue with someone who can read, but that is not elmo’s case. So I suggest she can go display her moronic reading abilities and sexuality views elsewhere.
*http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2013/05/m-kaitlin_hunt_gay_heroine.html
elmo screeched: Well, of course you don’t approve of most of what I’ve said – since it proves that you, NARTH, and the ACP are nothing more than liars.
LOL
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